Hotel Layover

Friday, October 17, 2008

I love hotels. I know there are people out there who are grossed out by hotel rooms because there have been some outlandish documentaries showcasing people going into the rooms with CSI-like black lights and showing all the mysterious stains on the bed covers and such. I prefer to ignore what I can't see, plus, most hotels we have stayed in remove the decorative bed covers and use the sheet-like blanket covers that can be removed and laundered.


While some would use the black light to rate the hotel room, I use a different method. I walk into the room, throw my bags down, take a quick glance around the room and then flick on the bathroom light. I have stayed in a number of hotels in my lifetime and no matter the nightly rate, the room layout is generally the same, or at least the contents of the room: bed - check!, desk - check!, television - check! It's all pretty standard, even if it is a higher class room with a sitting area, the room doesn't usually impress me much. But the bathroom! That is a different story. I always inspect the bathroom first and save my "This is a nice room!" exclamations until I have done so. There have been some bathrooms that have been much less than appealing, causing me to sleep fully clothed, with jacket, shoes and shower cap in fear of catching something because if the bathroom is THAT bad? WHAT, pray tell, is on the sheets?


When we stayed in Malaysia overnight, we were escorted from the arrival terminal to our hotel, and, of course, upon entering the room I commenced with my ritual: throw bags down, flick on the bathroom light, inspect and then exclaim, "This is nice!" I was delighted to find some salon-esque toiletries. The organic box packaging lined along the shelves made me feel like I was helping myself to an array of goodies from a store for FREE!


After my bathroom inspection ritual, I took on the next task at hand that is on my "settling in" to-do list and perused through the hotels folder of services. I was delighted to see that there was a salon in the hotel that offered eyebrow shaping for a decent price. Seeing as my eyebrows had taken on a life of their own and were even required to produce their own passport at customs, I figured it was time to take some action. I quickly made an appointment, which to my delight was only 15 minutes from when I phoned. I love the low season.

As I was about to leave for my appointment, I began to look through our pile of luggage for my purse. Another delight of being in an airport is being able to use my visa card. In the desert, we can only deal in cash (the biggest bill being the equivalent of $5, our car purchase made us feel a bit like 50-cent or P-Diddy laying down a deal, yo, with our suitcase of money). Each time I make a purchase in the desert, I lament the fact that I'm losing precious Visa points to redeem at a later time for wonderfully free things. (Don't start preaching to me about how these benefits aren't really free. I prefer to live happy. Plus, we don't carry a balance, so the credit card company doesn't make ridiculous amounts of money on us in late or interest charges, so in that sense, YES, the benefits ARE free. For me. Someone else is paying for my free plane tickets through their late and/or interest payments. And if you are that person, "Thank you.") I looked next to the large suitcase for my purse. I then moved to the other side of the room where the two smaller suitcases were standing, no purse. I went back to the large suitcase and searched above it, behind it, below it, inside it. No purse. "Where is my purse?" and then that dreadful, sinking, awful feeling set in. The "I'm about to pee out my actual stomach and colon" feeling. I must have forgot it on the plane! But, no, that can't be because I distinctly remember feeling it under my arm as we were dealing with the kids and waiting for our luggage, and then I went to the bathroom where I... set it on the shelf behind the toilet... and... OH MY GOSH! I forgot my purse in the luggage claim bathroom in an INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT! Of course, I did the rational thing and immediately crumpled to the floor in a flood of tears and full-body convulsions. Charlie and Lola gathered around me and assured me that they would take care of me while my husband called down to the desk and arranged for someone on the other side of security to check if my purse was still in the bathroom. Calmly and kindly, my husband informed me that he had removed all my identification (driver's licence, marriage certificate, and birth certificate) BEFORE we left on our trip so it was really just my visa card that was missing. But my WALLET! I love my wallet! It was a gift from a friend, a very special friend and I think of her every time I pull my wallet out of my purse and see the pretty ballerinas dancing upon their blue background. Also, my PURSE! I loved that purse. It was beautiful. And mine.

Reluctantly, I shoved some cash into my pocket and made my way to the appointment I had made, tears still lingering in the corners of my eyes. I tried to make myself look as pathetically hopeless as possible as I walked through the lobby, but nobody paid me any mind, much less asked what my drama was all about. As I entered the salon, the telephone rang and the receptionist handed it to me. My husband was calling! They had found my purse! In tact! Exactly where I had left it! Nothing missing! To be delivered in 30 minutes! I was as light as air! The burden and fear had lifted. I could have flown like a bird! Too bad the Malaysian girl that was waxing my eyebrows had to ruin it all by saying, "You are very hairy."

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